The Nearness Of You
by snowangel4
Summary: After a fight w/Vaughn, Syd makes a decision that could change their lives. S/V Hopefully filled with angst! *COMPLETE*
1. 1

Title: The Nearness of You

Disclaimer: I do not own anything……..besides my hamster and rubber ducky collection.

Rated: PG-13 for slight language

AN: Takes place during Season Two. I wrote this fic quite a while ago so it is a bit outdated but should be easy to follow. The story is my first attempt at real angst so I hope y'all like it. I would greatly appreciate feedback! Enjoy!

*** The title is taken from a song by Norah Jones. Great song!

She clamored into her room. Forcefully grabbing a bag and hastily shoving random items into it. Clothes mostly, make-up, shoes, a picture of her and Francie at the beach, one of Will and Francie-the real Francie. She looked around the room, eyes scanning to see if she missed anything important. Her dark brown eyes rested on a picture frame, the picture frame. His picture frame.  It stood alone on the shelf, as if taunting her. Sydney's brow furrowed, and she took a deep breath. Zipping up her bag, and gathering all of her confidence she quickly strode over to the picture frame and vehemently grabbed it on her way out of her room. She made it to her front door, grabbed her keys off of the counter and walked out her front door. She didn't look back. She wouldn't let herself. She knew that if she did, she'd break, fall apart. Instead, she stormed off to her car.

 Her foot pressed firmly against the accelerator. She peered down at the speedometer. 76. Sydney glanced over at the picture frame, now sitting in the passenger seat of the car. She veered off the freeway. She needed to make a stop.

The air was unusually cold as she walked out onto the pier. She nervously gripped onto the picture frame. She didn't even notice that her knuckles were turning white from the pressure. 

It was dark; a breeze came up and sent a shiver through her body. But she didn't let herself get distracted. She knew exactly why she had come here. She reached the end of the pier, now looking out over the dark waters of the ocean. The waves lapped against the shore, the water repetitively coming up precisely to where it had seconds before, yet disappearing again.

Sydney looked down at the frame, inside was a picture of her smiling, along with Francie and Will. She turned it over and angrily tore out the picture, shoving it into her purse. She looked back at the frame, on last time. It stood empty, as if it was waiting for something, something to complete it. Her chin began to quiver as thoughts of Vaughn came flooding back to her, consuming her entire being. She struggled with her breath, trying to contain the uneven gasps that escaped her lips.

 A single tear rolled down her cheek. She shook her head, trying to shake away all the painful thoughts, memories. She picked her head up and straightened.  She would not let herself feel sadness. She would not let him make her cry. Instead she would only let herself feel anger. A new wave of emotions swept over her, as she looked back at the ocean. Each wave bringing new water to the shore, coming up over the sand, then wiping it clean. She swallowed as she let her anger consume her. She felt the picture frame still in her hands, hard and cold. She didn't let herself look at it though. After a moment's hesitation, she took a deep breath and she stepped back, raised her arm and flung the picture frame as hard as she could, letting out a sound of anguish. She listened and heard it hit the water with a splash, breaking its perfect pattern. Sydney turned away, and ran down the pier, back to her car.

*Flashback*  6 Hours Ago

They were standing at the warehouse. It was pointless meeting there now-but Vaughn had insisted on it, SD-6 had been obliterated, and Sloane's empire was dwindling fast. Eight months ago, Sydney had discovered the truth about Francie, or what was actually her double. The CIA was drawing close to Sloane, and was able to capture Sark, after taping his phone records, which revealed the truth about Francie. Sydney was shocked, devastated, and enraged. She remembered telling Will. He broke down. He later moved to Minnesota after the funeral. They had never found Francie's body. Her life fell apart, but Sydney didn't know what to do. So she did nothing. She distanced herself from Vaughn, and became entirely devoted to taking down Sloane, going on extra missions, taking dangerous risks, gambling with her own life. Irina Derevko had seemed to have disappeared completely, although was no doubt planning something of her own. Now Sydney found herself in the warehouse, in the middle of yet another heated argument.

"Don't you understand?" Sydney pleaded, pacing around the hard, cement floor. Vaughn looked back at her, standing still.

"Understand what? That your ashamed of who you are. That you're afraid to let yourself actually be happy? Tell me Sydney, what do you want?" He asked her, tired of her antics.

"I want to be happy."

"Then what the hell is stopping you?"

"What's stopping me? What's stopping me? My entire life is stopping me." Sydney yelled at him, both of their tempers flaring up. 

"This isn't about your life." He answered quickly.

"Don't tell me what this is about…" She began in a dangerous tone.

"This is about your ignorance and goddamn stubbornness." He said, looking her straight in the eye.

"How can you say that? You know what I have gone through, first Danny, and then Francie. You of all people should know what its like to loose someone you love." She retorted. She knew mentioning his father was a low blow, but she needed to hurt him, she needed him to feel the pain that was conquering her life.

"Do not bring up my father in this. My father has nothing to do with this." He said in a low voice. Sydney immediately felt regret for her words, but it was quickly replaced with fury as he spoke again. "You're shutting me out."

"No I'm not." She said stubbornly as she continued pacing.

"Yes you are Sydney; don't even try to deny it. You have to stop this." 

"I have to do this, I have to finish." She said determinedly.

"Jesus Christ Sydney!" Vaughn cried exasperated. "What do you think this will give you? Do you really think killing Sloane will make your life perfect?  It won't bring Francie back, or Danny." He added with a slightly sardonic tone. 

"Do not say his name like that." She threatened. 

"Will it make you talk to your father again?" He went on.

"I don't see you talking to your mother." She said, saying the first thing that came to mind.

"You are not one to lecture on family relationships." He threw back at her. She looked at him and paused. She glanced around the warehouse, it was still the same. It even smelled the same. She folded her arms in defiance.

 "C'mon Sydney! Kendall had you reassigned for a reason."  She shook her head, refuting him. "Your sloppy, you let your emotions cloud your judgments and for once I agree with your father. You shouldn't be in the field, and right now I'm not even sure you should be working for the CIA." He said.

 Sydney rested her head back on her shoulders. This whole scene was just getting so old; she didn't need another lecture from Vaughn. She began to speak "Vaughn…" 

 "Your obsessed and I know you won't stop at anything to stop Sloane. I'm sorry that I am the one that has to point this out to you. Who knows where you loyalties lie now?" He questioned, his harsh words halted her pacing as she turned to face him.

"What are you saying? That you don't trust me?" 

"Like mother like daughter."

His words hit her like a ton of bricks. Before she had time to think she felt her hand draw back and smash squarely across his face, leaving a red imprint of her hand on his cheek.  She looked at him, eyes afire with rage and disbelief. She felt herself turn away as she broke into a run, sprinting out of the warehouse.

 He didn't come after her.

Ironically she had gotten the call while driving home after the fight. They got him. Sloane was dead. She had let out a sigh of relief but it was soon replaced by anger. She should have been celebrating with Vaughn, but now she felt more lost than ever. She had no purpose. What was she going to do with her life? She knew the answer, or at least what she used to have planned. She had imagined a life with Vaughn, herself a lit teacher at a high school. Maybe a few kids into the future.  Her thoughts turned back towards the warehouse as she let her anger consume her. Another dream shattered. 

*Present*   

            The sound of a siren on a passing cop car brought Sydney out of her reverie. She was surprised to find a tear running down her cheek. She tightened her grip on the steering and turned towards the radio. She flipped on the switch, looking for anything to distract her. However, another tear managed to escape, falling from her cheek, and landing silently beneath her. She mentally scolded herself, but soon her tears clouded her vision as she drove, and she found herself hastily wiping her eyes, struggling to see the now blurry road in front of her. She looked towards the side of the road as her headlights lit up a sign. Phoenix: 400 miles. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew she was going. She was going to start over, like the sand wiped clean from the waves.  

TBC….

Thanks for reading! Review please!


	2. 2

***Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed-baby le, star, thesheeplover, Jubilee, and especially to Joey Bing- I found your comments very helpful, thanks! Y'all made my day! This story is going to be pretty short, as this story moves a bit quicker than my other fics, I'm pretty sure just a 3-parter so I hope y'all enjoy it. Well that's about it for now so without further ado I present to you chapter two! 

**Ooh, P.S (just in case anyone would like to know) I have finally named my muse, drum roll please… Corah. (after Norah Jones and Coldplay-since I always listen to them when I write!)

            She had drove all the way to Phoenix. It was dark and she was tired, so she stopped at a hotel to sleep. Sydney lay alone in her bed, just staring out into the darkness surrounding her, leading her into a vast abyss of blindness. Unwelcome thoughts of Vaughn plagued her mind. She tried to convince herself that she hated him, that she didn't miss him. But the truth was she missed him, desperately. She longed for his arms to be around her waist, to feel his warm breath on her neck as they drifted off to sleep together. To be intoxicated by the faint scent of his lingering aftershave. Her futile attempts to forget him only made her feel even more alone. She rolled over and flipped on the lamp next to her bed. The small light flooded room, illuminating the sparse furniture; a chair, small table and TV stand. At least she wasn't totally alone. She glanced about the room, looking for something to hold her interest. 

She opened the drawer next to her bed, looking inside, it was empty except for a bible, placed there by the hotel. She reached out for the thick book and opened it. Sydney had never really been religious. When she was young her mother used to take her to church sometimes, she had always liked getting all dressed up. But that ended when Laura Bristow died. Her father never went to church after that. And neither did Sydney. 

She looked down at the book, she had flipped to a random spot and started to read. Jeremiah 22:22, "The wind will sweep away all your shepards, and your lovers will go into captivity; then you will surely be ashamed and humiliated because of all of your wickedness."  She sighed threw the book back down, her mind too full to start contemplating life, or deal with that increasing feeling of guilt that was inching into her heart. 

It was ironic, this was the time when she was supposed to feel safe, the world was rid from Sloane. There was no one hunting her down, trying to kill her. No one following after her. Maybe that was the problem…he didn't follow after her. Now she felt more afraid than she ever had in her life.

_***Flashback***_

            Sydney made her way into the Ops Center, exhausted, frustrated and dreading what she knew was the inevitable. She was immediately approached by her father; she steadied herself for another lecture. The frustration was evident in Jack's eyes as he spoke, "You have to stop doing this." He commanded, not bothering to say hello. She sighed and rolled her eyes, thinking he wouldn't notice.  Jack's jaw set as he scolded her angrily, "Sydney Anne Bristow do not roll your eyes at me young lady." He said harshly.

His words made her feel as if she were eight years old all over again, furthering her aggravation. "There is no possible way I will let you be in the field after pulling another stunt like this. How could you possibly think shooting Feldman would help? Not only did you put another agent in danger, not to mention yourself, you compromised the entire mission. And for what?" He questioned. "I'm downgrading your security access, and revoking your field approval."

She opened her mouth to protest but was cut off.  "Sydney, I will not let you lead you life like this."  

She became enraged at her father's words. "Don't tell me how to live my life. I didn't choose this. You made the decision for me. It was you who put me in Project Christmas. It was you who didn't prevent Sloane from recruiting me. Even more than mom, you betrayed me, and I will never forgive you for that." She finished in a harsh tone, her teeth clenched. Just then the duo was approached by Kendal and Vaughn- Kendal looking less than pleased. 

Kendal wasted no words as he got straight to the point. "Agent Bristow I am now having you officially reassigned. You will not partake in any dealings concerning Arvin Sloane or Irina Derevko." He stated flatly.

"Sir, you don't understand…." She began to object.

"No I understand perfectly." Kendal said firmly. "Agent Bristow you used to be a stellar agent-always working for the good of your country. However, recent developments have changed that. Your desire to avenge Arvin Sloane has overridden your patriotism so much that it has destroyed your worth as an agent." He paused under her intense glare. "There is no need for me to validate my decision to you, my reasoning should be quite clear to you already." She looked up at Vaughn with an expectant glare, imploring his support. He simply looked at her with sad eyes, as he silently lowered his head.  'I'm your ally.' His previous words played through her head, spinning as if on a record player. She turned her attention back to what Kendal was saying. "And frankly Agent Bristow, you should be glad you still have a job." He finished. 

 Sydney let out a heavy breath, anger still evident on her face. She looked at the three men before her with intense brown eyes. She shook her head slightly before turning on her heels as she strode determinedly out of the room, left with only the deepest sense of betrayal. 

***Present***

 Not wanting to deal with her thoughts, Sydney grabbed her purse off the nightstand and downed some sleeping pills. She fell asleep with the light on, the furniture her only company.  

            Sydney awoke late the next morning, groggy from the sleeping pills. She pulled herself out of bed, took a quick shower, and headed out again. She still didn't know where she was going, but it didn't really matter. 

She decided, that she was going to start her life over again. She had nothing back in L.A. Francie was gone, Will had moved, she wasn't on speaking terms with her father, and Vaughn…well. So she drove. But the problem with driving was that it gave you too much time to think. She thought about love. Love was for the weak. The ones who were too weak to live, so they grasped to this romanticized notion of emotional attachment to one single person, who in reality was just as insecure and imperfect as yourself. 

So 10 miles out of Phoenix, she turned on the radio, and pretended to be content with singing to the mindless songs on the radio. She sang through three states and suddenly found herself in Helena, Montana. She veered off the freeway and onto Main Street that ran straight through town, and on towards the mountains, the landscape scattered with trees and rolling hills, complete with ranches with horses and farms. She liked the mountains. Sydney decided that she would like it here too. So she stayed.

*** 3 Weeks Later **

Sydney had gotten a job as a teacher at the local high school. She taught English to juniors and seniors, she was constantly fascinated by the young minds, how they saw things in such a different perspective, whether it be relating to Shakespeare or the new movies coming out. All of her male students thought she was 'hot', and constantly vied for her attention-one even brought her flowers.

 It was at school where she had met Erin, also a teacher. She was around the same age and they almost instantly hit it off. Sydney liked her life…almost. She kept telling herself that this was what she wanted, but it didn't quite work. Every morning before school she'd go running, she was still in perfect shape. But the whole time she ran, she thought about Vaughn. That was the only time she'd let her mind wander to him. Eventually her designated running/Vaughn time increased everyday as she'd let herself get lost in futile fantasies of them together. Her heart ached for him, even though she has changed her entire world, she couldn't change her heart.

~~~***~~~

Both Sydney and Vaughn knew they were lost with out each other, but both too stubborn to call the other. Weiss tried to cheer up Vaughn at the office. It didn't work. Vaughn had gone into a panic when he found out she had left. He had checked with the CIA, and tracked her credit cards to Helena, Montana. 'Montana?' He questioned in his head. He never told Weiss what really happened, and Weiss knew better than to ask again. 

No matter how hard he tried, Vaughn could not figure out Sydney Bristow, but even more difficult than that was his feelings towards Sydney Bristow. He was so torn, he couldn't stand her sometimes, but more he couldn't stand to be with out her. He resented her, for breaking his heart. He resented himself for breaking hers. He loved her (he'd finally admitted that to himself), but it didn't matter anyways. He was sure she hated him.  About a month after she left he'd gotten enough courage to call her cell phone. But he only got the standard company line…..this phone is no longer in service.

***One Year Later***

Sydney opened the door to her house. She was exhausted. She made her way through the entry way, dropped her keys lazily on a small table and made her way to the kitchen with two bags of groceries in her arms. Her house was small, but roomy. The kitchen and dining room were on the right, a large airy living room to her left that showcased a staircase leading up to a small balcony on the second floor, along with two bedrooms. 

 She set the bags down on the counter and started to put the food away. Her eyes swept over a calendar that was hanging beside the refrigerator. It had been more than a year. She thought back to how much her life had changed. She directed her thoughts back to the task at hand, as she finished putting the last of the groceries away; a loaf of bread, some apples, baby formula, milk, and a pint of Ben and Jerry's Strawberry Swirl.

***Later that night***

            She was simultaneously watching a rerun of Friends and grading papers on Jane Eyre when the doorbell rang. Sydney got up from her couch to answer the door, thinking that Erin must be early. She swung open the door starting, "Hey I really don't think that…" Sydney stopped abruptly when she realized it wasn't Erin that was standing in front of her. She froze at the sight of him. 

            He watched as her face turned to shock. Sydney opened her mouth to talk, but all that escaped was an uneven breath. She felt a chill run down her body as she looked at him, he looked the same, he was wearing his regular suit, he may have acquired a new wrinkle, most likely from her, but he still had those same vivid eyes. She looked into his face, but found it entirely unreadable. After what seemed like an eternity she was finally able to formulate words.

            "Vaughn." She breathed. She wanted so badly to fall into his arms, for him to kiss her and chase all of her fears away. A slight breeze came in from behind him, wafting his scent close to her. She took a breath of the air, and swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. It was the same aftershave. "Um, come in." She said barely above a whisper as she stepped back to let him in the entryway. They were standing awkwardly, facing each other, neither knowing what to do next. Sydney nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. At seeing this Vaughn half-smiled.

            "God, Sydney I miss you so much." He said, his voice soft. She bit her bottom lip and stared at her feet for a moment.

"I missed you too." It seemed like the natural response. There was a pause. "How did..?"

            "I work for the CIA Syd." He said, reading her thoughts. " I can get an address."

"Yeah." She replied, angry at her own stupidity. 'Come on Syd, you were a spy.' She thought to herself. She was still shocked a little; she couldn't believe he was actually standing in front of her. She didn't know what she wanted more, to kiss him or to slap him. She didn't know whether to be incredibly anger and incredibly happy. 

"So you're a teacher." He said, it wasn't really a question, just a statement. She just nodded in reply, and decided that she should be angry right now.

"Why are you here?" She questioned, it had came out a little more bitter than she meant it to, but at least it gave her a little bit of courage. He looked a little startled at her tone, but stared right into her deep brown eyes, seeming to peer straight into her soul. Sydney hated when he did that. It was like he could see right though her. He shook his head a little, his temper beginning to creep into his consciousness.

"I'm sorry I'm not as strong as you. I can't just up and leave and move on. I'm not perfect." He began, as he started to get the distinct feeling he was getting himself into another one of their infinite fights about nothing. Sydney recognized his tone and immediately went to her fighting zone. She started pacing around in the entry way and into the living room. 

"You think my life is perfect? What gives you the right to just drop by here…" She began, willing away the tears that had sprung up in her eyes without permission.

"I didn't come here to fight." He said quickly, stepping closer to her.

"Well then what the hell did you come here for?" She asked, turning to face him. Vaughn's mind started racing, what _did_ he come here for? He was concentrating so hard that he didn't even notice a baby's cry coming from the living room, or that Sydney had gone to go and pick it up. Sydney made her way the short distance around the couch and back to him, absent-mindedly balancing the crying tot on her hip as she started to speak again. "Vaughn, I don't know…"  He looked up at Sydney and his jaw dropped. He held his breath for a minute and just stared at her while quickly doing some math in his head. She had been pregnant?!

TBC…..

Thanks for reading!!!


	3. 3

***Thanks to all of you who are reading this story! Another special thanks to bridie, star, Nickell, Mandi, Max, WishingStar and Lainie for reviewing! This will be the last chapter of this story so I hope y'all like it!

He looked up at Sydney and his jaw dropped. He held his breath for a minute and just stared at her. He quickly did some math in his head. She had been pregnant?!

Sydney looked up at Vaughn only to see him staring at her in shock. It took her a second to realize that he was looking at the baby, and what must be whirring through his head.

"What…how…why didn't…?" He began to stammer, with a surprised look etched on his face.

Sydney saw his struggling and quickly cut him off. "It's not mine." An even more confused look played upon his features. "I'm babysitting for my friend Erin." She added, slightly amused at his reaction.

"Oh." He simply said, feeling relieved but Vaughn also couldn't ignore the tiny twinge of disappointment as he thought of what could have been, and the life they could have lived together.  He caught himself staring at her again. She looked beautiful, holding the child, it seemed so natural. He sighed and realized they hadn't spoken for a good minute.

"Um…yeah. Totally forgot what we were talking about." He said, feeling nervous as he awkwardly stuck his hands in his coat pockets. Sydney smiled at his shyness as she adjusted the baby on her hip, now quiet and content with a pacifier in its mouth. The slamming of a car door in the driveway jolted the both of them back into reality. Sydney looked up and saw a petite strawberry blonde woman walking towards them. 

"Hey Syd!" She called from the sidewalk. 

"Hey Erin." She said as Erin saw Vaughn, shooting Sydney a look that seemed to say 'Who is this gorgeous man standing in your door way that you have not told me about?' Sydney smiled a little as she remembered her manners. "Oh Erin this is Vaughn, I mean Michael." She struggled a little. "Vaughn, this is Erin Matthews."

"Hi, nice to meet you." Erin said, shaking his hand. 

"Likewise." Vaughn replied as an awkward silence ensued as Erin shot Sydney more meaningful looks. Erin spoke up again, "I see you've already met Kit." She said as she reached out to grab the baby girl from Sydney's arms, relieving her of her babysitting duties. "So, um Michael, what brings you into town?" She asked pleasantly.

Vaughn looked at Sydney as he struggled for an answer a bit. Sydney just looked at him, offering no help, herself wanting to know why he had come. "Oh, well I was just in the area." He offered. Sydney shot him an accusing look but said nothing.

Erin sensed the slight discord and conveniently spoke up again. "Well, I should probably be going." She said, "Give me a call if y'all want to do something. Where are you staying at?"

Vaughn looked flustered yet again, as he started to speak, "Well actually I was just passing though so…" 

"He's staying with me." Sydney interrupted. Both Erin and Vaughn turned to her in surprise as they heard her remark. Erin knew Sydney; she wasn't the type to invite random men to come stay with her. In fact, Erin couldn't even remember the last time Sydney had had a guy in. She shot Sydney yet another strange look as she spoke up. 

"Well, it was nice to meet you Michael. I should get going with this little one." She said adjusting the baby on her hip as she made her way down the sidewalk. "Call me later!" She called out to Sydney. 

Sydney watched Erin's retreating figure as she turned back to Vaughn, both uncertain on where they stood. Sydney shut the door and moved out of the entryway and into the living room. "We need to talk." She said, sitting down on the couch.

 Vaughn sat beside her as they both stared straight ahead, neither saying anything. Vaughn twiddled his thumbs a little and started wringing his hands. After a moment, he spoke up. "How did we let ourselves end up this way?" He asked, not really expecting an answer.  Sydney bit her lip and looked away, her eyes rested on a stuffed animal lying on the floor. She got up and made her way to it. It was a turtle, one of Kit's. He watched her figure rise from the couch. She looked tired, maybe even lonely.

 "Look Syd, I'm really sorry." He began. She looked up and stared into his green eyes. They were filled with regret, with remorse, with love? He looked back into her deep brown eyes, tearing ever so slightly at the edges.  She bent down and grabbed the turtle. He spoke again as he got up from the couch, "I know that this won't make everything better, make all the pain and loneliness disappear, but I am so sorry for, for not understanding, for my harsh words, for, for not coming after you." He said softly. 

She took a deep breath, soaking in his words as she mindlessly fidgeted with the stuffed turtle. By now real tears were forming, her voice was wobbly as she spoke "I'm sorry for pushing you away Vaughn. I'm sorry for shutting you out. I'm so sorry." She choked out, not able to look at him.

He hated to see her cry. Before she knew what was happening she found herself in his strong embrace. She felt her shoulders shake a little as she desperately tried not to cry. He breathed in her scent as held her close and whispered into her hair. "Its okay, its okay Syd." Just like old times.  He pulled her away from his body to look into her glistening eyes. "Just don't do it again." He spoke quietly right before he felt her lips crashing into his. He held her tight, as they searched each other, full of passion, months of loneliness and pain. They finally pulled apart. She melted into his arms as she breathlessly spoke his name. 

A single tear streamed down her cheek as he held her close. Vaughn's arms wrapped around her protectively, he took a deep breath, breathing in her essence. He fought back tears as he smelled her familiar shampoo, causing memories to cascade through his mind and through his heart. A myriad of emotions overwhelmed him as he pulled her back once again to gaze into her eyes.

She gave him a weak smile and started to laugh lightly. He looked at her with questioning eyes, the corners of his own mouth turning up, reacting to her smile. "Look at us." She managed to say, her voice light. He gave a short laugh as he tucked a stray wisp of hair behind her ear.  

Sydney looked down at her feet as she bit her bottom lip. "So where do we go from here?"

Vaughn looked down at her form, she was so unsure of herself- but so was he. The only thing he was sure of was that he desperately wanted to kiss her again-better yet forever. Instead he took her hand in his as a million thoughts crowded his mind. His brain searched for words but none came. With his free hand he reached down for her lowered face, lifting her chin so she looked into his glowing green eyes.  He unsuccessfully tried to smile to reassure her. Finally he spoke the only words that came to mind, "God Syd, I missed you so much."

She simply nodded in response; there was still too much pain in her heart. No matter how much she wanted to be with him, Sydney knew that if he would ever leave she wouldn't be able to bear it. 

"Vaughn," She started, she opened her mouth to speak again but then paused. He watched her chest rise with each breath as she struggled to speak. "I can't do this again, if it's not going to," She paused again. "If it's not going to last." 

"Syd, I'm not trying to rush you…" He began.

"That's not it." She quickly interrupted, her voice still small. Vaughn looked at her with pleading eyes but she refused to meet his gaze. After a moment of silent she spoke up again.

"Vaughn, what do you want from me?" She questioned, looking into his eyes, years of pain easily displayed upon her face.

He glanced at the floor, littered with baby toys from Kit's previous stay. He glanced around the room, noting how natural the whole thing seemed- him, Sydney, and a playpen set up in the corner next to a bookshelf filled with classics. Sydney's pile of papers on the coffee table, her red pen lying next to it, along with her grade book.

"I want this." He motioned towards the room, pausing. "I want you." He said, stroking her cheek gently, as he stepped closer to her, their bodies close. So close they could feel each others heat, each others breath. He brought his lips to hers once again, this time filled with gentleness and love. A thrill ran through Sydney's entire body as she felt his hands grasp her waist firmly after they had wandered down the length of her back. She let herself absorb him as she ran her hands up his face and through his hair while delving deeper into the kiss.

Time seemed to halt as the two stood so close in the living room, each savoring the others presence. Finally she took his hand and led him up the winding stairs.  

~~~***~~~

A week had passed. He had stayed with her. He watched her everyday life, something he had missed so much before. He watched her go to work every morning, and they even began to jog together every morning. He'd taken time to explore the small town, and after many discussions, it was settled. He was moving to Helena, Montana. Vaughn had yet to broach the subject with the CIA, and his week of vacation had quickly dissipated. It was Saturday, and now Vaughn was returning to L.A to wrap up lose ends and move out of his apartment. 

Sydney returned to her apartment, her arms yet again filled with groceries. She opened her front door and was disappointed to find her house empty. She instantly remembered that Vaughn had left earlier that day, flying back to L.A. He had wanted her to go with her, but she refused. L.A held too many bad memories.

She set the groceries on the kitchen counter as she realized that she missed Vaughn already. She scolded herself for being so emotional; after all, she had lived for over a year without even seeing him. Suddenly her previous quiet solitary lifestyle seemed vastly empty. 

She took a breath and shook her head slightly as if to clear her mind. She abandoned the rest of the awaiting groceries and decided to go change into some more comfortable clothes. 

She made her way up the spiraling stairs to her bedroom. She flicked on the light, illuminating the neat room. Immediately something glimmering on the bed caught her eye. She crossed the room over to the bed, finding a small package wrapped in sparkling silver paper. She examined it and after finding no card she decided to open it. Carefully tearing away the delicate paper, Sydney unveiled the mysterious package. Her breath caught in her chest as she saw it. A smile spread across her face as all to familiar tears began to seep to the corners of her eyes. It was the picture frame. His picture frame, that so long ago she had hurled into the Pacific Ocean.  But now there stood a photo of them together, smiling as if they had no cares in the world.

FIN

Well I really hope y'all enjoyed reading this fic, I had fun writing it. I'm pretty sure that this is it but if y'all really really want, I might consider writing a sequel. Thanks again for reading!

Oh and if you liked this story you might also like Recrudescence (also very angsty) and the story I'm currently working on, One Fish, Two Fish (which I hope to be angsty- cuz ya gotta love angst!). Thanks again for reading!


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